The Three Unrelated Comrades And The Big Bad Wufie
by Miss Peeps
Summary: The Three Little Pigs And The Big Bad Wolf has been edited to The Three Unrelated Comrades And The Big Bad Wufie!


AN: Merely as short story I wrote for school, and got to perform in front of my English class. This was the highlight of the school year! The Three Little Pigs And The Big Bad Wolf is now...

**The Three Unrelated Comrades And The Big Bad Wufie**

Once upon a time, there were three comrades that traveled together. Then they realized they had nothing in common and no where they were going, so they decided to split their ways.

Duo, the first, was cheerful and simple minded. He found work at UPS and knowing how Iesop's fable flows, decided to build himself a house out of bricks. Duo just didn't grasp the concept that duct tape is not meant for architecture.

Quatre the second, was hospitable and more intelligent. He moved to a large city and with excellent business skills turned the metroplex into his personal monopoly. With a plentiful supply of money, he had a spacy mansion built for himself using bricks, cement, and most importantly a foundation.

Heero, the third, was too focused, evil, sour, and ill-tempered. He found work as an assassin and quickly raised his status in the mafia. He rented an apartment which he stocked with various guns, explosives, and nuclear weapons.

As the story goes, Heero stole the favorite sneakers of the 'Big Bad Wufie,' and was planning to sell them on e-bay. Now, let me straighten your thoughts. The Big Bad Wufie is not a wolf, but a 6'9" Chinese basketball player, hence the valuable shoes.

Anyways, the Big Bad Wufie was **_not_** happy when his favorite sneakers disappeared especially since we know just how much shoes affect a person's phsyc.

Therefore, the Big Bad Wufie snuck into the mafia stealing Heero's address. However, seeking to avoid arrest, Heero had given the mafia Duo's address. (Wow. What a great friend he is.)

"INJUSTICE!" exclaimed the Big Bad Wufie banging on Duo's door. "GIVE ME MY SHOES BACK!"

Duo peaked out the crater in his wall... I mean window at the intruder. "I'm sorry, but opening packages is against regulations." He informed him.

"You have no integrity. You stole my shoes you stupid American. _Dishonor_."

"Um... I did? Well, I don't think so..."

"Liar."

"I don't have your shoes, ok?"

"How about you let me come in and look for them?"

"No," Duo told him, "I don't know you."

"I swear, if you don't let me in," threatened Wufie, "I'll shove, and I'll tug, and I'll tear this door down!"

"It's locked." Duo informed him.

Well, the Big Bad Wufie grabbed the door and he shoved and he tugged and with a stupendous yank the entire front wall of Duo's duct taped house gave way, falling on top of the Big Bad Wufie effectively knocking him out.

"I guess you get to look inside now," said Duo to the rubble, "I don't have your shoes... and I've got some deliveries to make." With that, Duo hopped into his UPS truck and drove away.

As soon as Wufie recovered, he re-infiltrated the mafia, searching for Heero's address. He found the address and headed off to find Heero. Of course, he didn't get the right address this time either.

It just so happens that one of the packages on Duo's delivery list was for his old traveling comrade, Quatre.

"Duo!" exclaimed Quatre when he saw his old friend, "What are you doing here?"

"Delivery," he explained, "Sign here."

"You work delivering packages?" asked the multi-billionaire.

"Yup. It's the easy job for me."

"Quatre signed and asked, "Would you like to come inside?"

"Sure."

No sooner had Duo stepped inside and shut the door behind him, was there a knock on the door. The two opened it.

"INJUSTICE!" exclaimed the Big Bad Wufie. "You stole my shoes!" he said to Duo. "You, accessory!" he told Quatre. "Dishonor, Disrespect, No integrity, cowards..."

"What?" asked Quatre.

"You stole my shoes! Thief! Give me my shoes back."

"I didn't steal your shoes, besides, you have shoes," Quatre pointed out.

"Liars. You stole my sneakers."

"I don't have your shoes." Quatre told him.

"And I don't either." Duo added.

"Will you let me come in and look for them?"

"No, I don't know you." Quatre informed him.

Wufie growled, "I swear, if I don't get my shoes back, I'll shove and I'll tug, and I'll tear this door down."

"If you need therapy, I can arrange it," offered the hospitable Quatre.

"Disrespect!" exclaimed the Big Bad Wufie.

Quatre shut the door.

Well, the Big Bad Wufie shoved and he tugged...

and he continued shoving and tugging 'cause that door was not moving. Eventually, he gave up. Wufie then re-re-infiltrated the mafia, in search of Heero's address.

Heero sat in his apartment checking his bids. Quatre had come over to find out the Mafia's plans before he became a victim and Duo was just there...

There was a knock on the door. Heero grabbed a pistol, snarled and went to the door.

"You stole my shoes!" the Big Bad Wufie yelled at Heero. "You Japanese trash! Dishonor! You! ACCOMPLICE! You! ACCESSORY!"

"So?" asked Heero.

"Give me my shoes back." Wufie snarled.

"Do you realize how much the shoes of an insane, dead, Chinese basketball player will sell for on ebay?"

"Dishonor. You admit it! Do diligence! Thief! Dis-"

**-BANG!-**

"You killed him?" Quatre asked, shocked.

"So?"

"What are you going to do with the body?"

"Well, in the story of the three little pigs, they cook the wolf and eat him." Duo offered.

Heero shrugged. "Ok."

The End.

AN: REVIEW!


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